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Iapos;m so close to buying a paid account so the ads will GTFO. Fucking.. Anyway.


Iapos;ve been doing a lot of getting my shit sorted and it seems like Iapos;m stuck in the same place I was when I woke up in the morning, every night. Unable to sleep and when I do, the nightmares start. I do it to myself, of course. Itapos;s my own fault I keep dwelling on Adam even though if I ever see him again, it will be too fucking soon. I havenapos;t seen him since.. Mid-September maybe. I broke off all contact with them. I ALMOST didnapos;t, but then at the last second I told him, straight up, "I canapos;t be in your life anymore. It hurts too much" and that was it. The game is over.

And Justin left the apos;net, Japos; told me, a few days ago. I miss him apos;cause I think he was actually good for me. The problem is Iapos;m probably not good for him. Too emotional and crazy.. But.. See, itapos;s such a circlejerk with me.

"But I.."

".. I know Iapos;m bad for him but.."

Iapos;m starting to wonder if I truly DO only care about myself. Iapos;m not exactly a apos;selflessapos; person when it comes to my dating life. I want what I want, and I want it -then-, and I want it -now- and to hell with whoever gets in the way of that, right? Thatapos;s always been me.

Iapos;m trying to focus on fashion now. I spend so much time on it.. Because thatapos;s what I want to do for a career, something in that industry. Fashion is a language everyone speaks.. Some just arenapos;t as fluent as others >_____>

ANYWAYS.

<3 Britt.
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